Unattainable
by Flipenda
Summary: The Marauders and their female counterparts each host games that result in a change of events in the LilyJames pursual. Laughs, chaos, and embarassment are sure to follow! Please Read and Review!
1. Truth, Dare, or Dire

"Your turn Lils," Jasmine (Jazzy) Allen said, reaching for a black and silver blindfold. Her eagerly gleaming grey eyes betrayed her sober voice as she pulled a lock of her black hair out of her mouth.

15 year old Lily Evans sighed, smiled, shook her mid-back-length mane of red hair good-naturedly, and surrendered to the blinding of her almond-shaped sparkling green eyes. The whole prospect of Lily playing a variation of Truth or Dare, or any game for that matter, would shock a sizeable percentage of Hogwarts, seeing as she gave off and aura of seriousness and responsibility. Her friends however, knew oh so much better.

Alice Townsel and Mindy Hinta giggled as they conjured up a school hat full of folded papers. Alice and Mindy, who happened to be third cousins four times removed, or fourth cousins three times removed, or something of the like, looked very much like each other, with changes that only twin sisters usually made. Both had blonde hair, hazel eyes, were about the same height, went after the same types of boys, and could not live without their music. Alice, however, preferred heavy metal and was quiet about what boys she fancied, whereas Mindy had pixie-like hair, was very into pop rock and could not keep a secret for more than an hour, be it hers or someone else's.

"Truth, Dare, or Dire?" Mindy asked seriously. Lily pondered the query for a few moments before answering.

Truth? No, she had far too many secrets dear to her. Especially that one about-No! Forget the moron. That kiss meant nothing! Dare? Maybe, what's the worst that three girls could come up with? Oh, wait, that's the same thing Alice thought, and that landed her in McGonagall's office at two in the morning in a French maid costume with poor Frank Longbottom hand-cuffed to her. Dire? Well, it's not like she really had a choice.

"Dire," she said resolutely. She could practically _feel_ the mock grave looks her friends were giving her.

"Is that your final answer?" Jazzy asked, monotone.

Lily imagined their faces breaking into grins. They knew that she never changed her mind.

"Why not?" Lily asked rhetorically, beginning to smile in spite of herself.

"Then let the dire deed commence!" squealed Alice.

"Take one!" squealed Mindy, shoving the hat at Lily.

"Only if you stop squealing! I don't speak pig, you know!"

The room immediately quieted.

Lily sighed and plunged a hand into the hat. She shivered as the papers began to dance, snake-like, around her arm. She quickly withdrew her hand, a piece of paper limp in her tightly clenched hand. She took off the blindfold and scanned the paper in question.

"You are so not serious," she said after a moment. She repeated it, like a sick mantra, getting louder each time. "YOU ARE NOT BLOODY SERIOUS!"

"No," came a soft voice from next to her. "I'm Jazzy."

"This is NOT funny. Jazzy, Mindy, Alice, you've got to be fucking me. Please tell me you're joking." Lily looked at her friends for any hint of an alternate truth in their faces.

"No Lily. We're completely serious. You have to do what that paper says. Otherwise, you know what happens."

Visions of herself in a chicken suit trying to seduce Lucius Malfoy danced before Lily's mind's eye.

"Okay," she said, obviously resigned. "I'll do it."

A/N: Yes, I am back, and yes, I am still working on A Damsel in Distress. I lost my mojo for a few...months. The entire school year, really. Well, I'm now going to high school, so hopefully, that'll influence and not discourage me. Please read and review THIS story. If you have a comment for A Damsel in Distress, or wish for me to make It's All In 3-D or In The End more than one-shots, PLEASE leave those comments in the comment areas for their respective stories. Thanks guys!

K.o.t.S.  
(Kunoichi of the South)  
(Tsarina Konny)


	2. Journey to the Kitchens

"C'mon Prongsy-boy!" shouted Sirius Black. Three-fourths of the infamous Hogwarts prankster group, the Marauders, were sitting fireside downstairs in the Gryffindor Common Room, waiting for their fourth companion, James Potter.

"Sirius, are you sure you should be shouting up the staircase like that?" Peter questioned timidly. "What if a Prefect came downstairs? Or anybody else for that matter?" Peter Pettigrew was a short, slightly chubby boy with stringy blonde hair and watery blue eyes. His personality matched his appearance. He was timid, not quite as smart as the other boys when it came to their lessons, and all together, was quite slow.

Sirius took in Peter's plainly worried expression and paused, as if mulling the idea over. Remus rolled his eyes; he knew exactly what was coming next. It was getting tiring and he decided to stop Sirius before he gave Peter yet another lesson in what it meant to be a Marauder.

"Don't, Padfoot," he said quietly, but with finality in his tone.

Sirius shrugged and let it go; he wasn't about to go against Moony in the middle of the night. "Peter, we wouldn't have to worry about anyone coming down the staircase and telling us off because, one, we're the Marauders, two, I'm Sirius Black, and three, he's Remus Lupin, Prefect Extraordinaire. We're perfectly safe from harm. Even if Minnie came in to do a random check-up, I'd be able to persuade her to let us off the hook."

Sirius, as he was delivering his little speech, had literally puffed out his chest, making his cockiness visible. Even though he had reason to, with his dark blue eyes that, when combined with his boyish grin, made girls swoon, dark hair that some girls were actually jealous of him for, and his awesome six-foot-three fit physique, his friends really weren't up for witnessing Sirius's self-glorification routine.

"Peter's got a point you know," Remus pointed out. He had the least amount of restraint out of the Marauders when it came to raining on Sirius's parade, but perhaps he just wanted to make Peter feel better. Whatever the reason was, what he said next struck fear into Sirius's heart. "You may be able to scare off a student, fool a Prefect, and maybe even woo Minnie, but what about Lily?"

_While Sirius and Peter are wincing in fear of what Lily might do should she discover them, we shall examine Remus, because he rocks so hard._

Remus smiled slightly as he watched his friends wince in what was obviously aftermath of the physical pain that Lily had caused them over the years. Luckily, Remus himself had no personal recollections. Remus Lupin was, quite evidently, Lily's favourite Marauder. He was the favourite of many other girls at Hogwarts as well. And, well, why not? He was on the tall side at six feet, quite fit, thanks to his position as Chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team along with James and Sirius, really sweet, soft-spoken, rational, in the top five in all of his classes, and had haunted light blue eyes and longish brown-gold hair that gave pretty much every girl that came into contact with him an unexplained desire to pull on it.

_Now that the author has released her irrational feelings for Remus, we shall return to the story._

At that moment, the fourth Marauder, James Potter, came flying down the staircase.

"What's doing?" asked James, running a hand through his hair.

The Marauders looked at James and turned to each other. They communicated through eye contact, leaving Remus to be their voice.

"What were you doing Prongs? You're half an hour late. And we all left the dorm _at the same time_."

"Well, I- ah, you see- I was, I was just-"

"Plotting more ways to stalk Lily?"

"N- No! Wormtail, no! Why-?"

"Making out with the strand of hair you yanked out of her head in first year?"

"Dude! That's not cool!"

"Yeah Sirius, he hasn't done that for _at least_ three days!"

"Moony!"

The three Marauders roared with laughter. Well, Remus and Sirius roared. Peter kind of giggled and hiccupped and snorted at the same time. In any case, James didn't take too kindly to being laughed at. Quite frankly, despite whom he was friends with, he wasn't used to it.

Not that he had any reason to be. As Gryffindor's star Chaser, he was usually admired by his peers. After all, it's not hard to look up to the 5th year that is a part of the most infamous group of pranksters in Hogwarts history, stands at six-foot-one in his skivvies, and isn't afraid to parade around the Common Room in said skivvies to impress a certain green-eyed witch. The insanely sexy black hair and flashing hazel eyes don't exactly hurt this image of him either.

"Okay, now that we're all finished making James feel like doxy dung, can we get a flaming move on?" James grinned a little as he said it.

Sirius launched himself up from his place on the floor, kicking Peter in his face in the process. Remus smiled a little and went over to help the whimpering Peter stand up.

"And now, the quest," said Remus, completely serious.

"A journey dat do man must ever uderdake alode," added Peter, hand over mouth and nose.

"A mission on which no man must be left behind on," interjected James.

"Because if he is… there will be no source of food left at Hogwarts," said Sirius darkly.

"Onward, my good men!" Remus raised a fist.

"Do da pordrait of fruit!" squeaked Peter, meeting Remus' fist with his own.

"May the shadow of the night protect us." James solemnly joined Remus and Peter.

"May the hunger of our stomachs be satisfied," Sirius said, making the fourth fist.

A pause, and then-

"TO THE KITCHENS!"

A/N: I know, I know, I know. It's been a while. Where'd you go? Goodnight, goodnight. Say goodbye. All those songs and more describe you guys wondering what the _hell _I've been up to. Well, now I'm going to be a sophmore, and I'm not going to be dumb enough like I was last year (see Chapter One) to promise you that I'll update regularly. I'm just going to start writing again, and hopefully, you'll all review again. Deal? Deal.


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